The wife of an Akwa Ibom-based pastor, Emem Isong, has stirred reactions online after declaring that men without money, direction, or discipline should not pursue romantic relationships. The controversial relationship advice has generated widespread debate on social media over love, financial stability, and responsibilities in relationships.
In a Facebook post shared on Thursday, Isong argued that many women lose themselves emotionally and financially while trying to support men who have little to offer beyond hardship and stress.
According to her, love without stability often leads to frustration and pain, stressing that men should be able to bring peace, progress, and value into relationships.
You ever seen a woman lose herself trying to love a man who had nothing to give her but stress? I have. And it’s ugly,” she wrote.
A man with no money, no plan, no discipline has no business chasing love. That’s not romantic — it’s reckless. What you’re really doing is looking for a woman to sponsor your struggle while you ‘figure it out.’”
She further stated that men who cannot provide emotional or financial stability should avoid dragging women into their personal struggles.
If you can’t provide peace, protection, or progress — leave her alone. Don’t drag her into your chaos because you’re scared to be alone with your own lack,” she added.
Addressing women directly, the pastor’s wife advised them to reconsider relationships where they bear all the financial burden.
If you’re laying next to a man that can’t pull out money from the ATM, wake the hell up,” she wrote.
Her comments quickly sparked mixed reactions online, with some social media users agreeing that financial responsibility is important in relationships, while others criticized her remarks as insensitive and materialistic.
Several commenters argued that love and partnership should not be based solely on wealth, while others insisted that emotional support and ambition matter just as much as financial status.
The debate has since continued across multiple social media platforms, highlighting growing conversations around gender roles, financial expectations, and modern relationships in Nigeria.
