LAGOS: A Nigerian mother, Chief Omekannaya Oyinna Ogbonna, has sparked conversations on marriage, domestic violence and the safety of women after publicly declaring that she does not want her daughters to get married.
Ogbonna, a titled chief in her hometown, made the declaration in a Facebook post while reacting to growing concerns about violence against women, following reports of the death of a 24-year-old Nigerian woman who reportedly left behind one-year-old twin children.
Although the circumstances surrounding the young woman’s death were not established in the report, her sister had earlier shared an emotional message suggesting that she might never forgive the deceased’s husband for what happened to her sibling.
Reacting to the development, Ogbonna expressed frustration over recurring reports of women allegedly suffering abuse and losing their lives in marital relationships.
In an emotional statement, she criticised what she described as society’s tendency to romanticise marriage while overlooking the physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual suffering some women experience in abusive relationships.
Igbo marriages oh!!!! I AM TIRED!!!!! The bad news never stops!” she wrote.
She lamented that many women enter marriage with the hope of building loving families but allegedly end up experiencing violence, emotional distress and other forms of abuse.
According to her, society often condemns women who speak publicly about harmful marital experiences, describing them as bitter, wicked or opposed to marriage, rather than addressing the behaviour they are calling attention to.
Ogbonna also warned against ignoring warning signs in relationships, arguing that pressure to marry and the tendency to overlook red flags could expose women to dangerous situations.
Explaining her position, the mother said her declaration was driven by her determination to protect her daughters from experiences that could threaten their happiness, safety and lives.
She stressed that she would not want any man to subject her children to physical abuse or make their lives miserable under the guise of marriage.
I DO NOT WANT MARRIAGE FOR MY DAUGHTERS! I went through too much to bring them into this world, and I will be DAMNED if any man born of a woman thinks he can lay a finger on my beloved daughters, whom I love with every fiber of my existence!” she declared.
She further maintained that she would not accept a situation where the children she struggled to raise would become victims of abusive relationships.
“I did not fight to give my daughters life just for some man to make their lives miserable or cut them short in the name of marriage! NEVER!!!!” she added.
Her statement has generated different reactions among social media users, with some expressing sympathy for her concerns about violence against women, while others questioned whether her personal fears should determine her daughters’ future decisions.
Some commenters argued that parents should allow their children to make independent choices about marriage rather than allowing negative experiences or concerns about abusive relationships to influence their decisions.
Others suggested that the focus should be on promoting healthy relationships, identifying warning signs of abuse and ensuring that women have the support and protection needed to leave dangerous situations.
The discussion has also highlighted differing views about marriage, gender relations and the responsibilities of families and society in addressing domestic violence.
While Ogbonna’s declaration reflects her personal position as a concerned mother, the wider issue raised by her post goes beyond whether women should marry.
It draws attention to the importance of consent, respect, personal safety, emotional well-being and accountability in relationships.
Marriage should not be an environment where violence, intimidation or abuse is tolerated, and no woman should have to choose between remaining in an abusive relationship and risking her life.
RapidoSpace News | Society and Human Interest
