A US-based Nigerian mental health practitioner, Seun Obajolu, has opened up about why she hasn’t remarried years after her divorce.
In a heartfelt Facebook post on Thursday, October 23, Obajolu said one of the major reasons she has chosen to remain single is her deep sense of responsibility toward her children.
According to her, their emotional wellbeing and safety are her top priorities, and she worries about how a new partner might affect that balance.
While admitting that marriage is no longer a priority, the mother explained that she would consider remarrying only if everything feels right and she feels safe.
It would be a decision made with my eyes, head, and heart intact not just emotions alone, she wrote.
Reflecting on her past, Obajolu said her divorce wasn’t caused by one specific event but rather a gradual progression of issues that led to irreconcilable differences Many years after, following retrospection, I have come to accept that when divorce happens, it’s usually not from a lone incident but a buildup of unresolved issues she said.
She added that healing took time and that she had to rebuild her life from scratch while raising her children. Contrary to popular belief, she noted that not everyone becomes financially comfortable after a divorce.
Some of us had to start over go back to school, build careers, and work hard to create stability for our kids. It was never about peppering anyone, she wrote
Obajolu explained that her children have been at the centre of every decision she has made since her marriage ended.
When something as unfortunate as divorce happens, it might be easier for the man to move on, but for most women, the focus shifts completely to raising the children,” she said.
She also admitted that age and experience have made her more selective about potential partners.
I am older and wiser now. I’ve become more strategic about whom I choose as a life partner yes, I’m pickier, she added.
Although she still values the institution of marriage, Obajolu said it is no longer something she feels pressured to pursue.
While I love the idea of marriage and acknowledge that two heads are better than one, I’ve developed cold feet about getting married again, she said.
If all seems right and I feel safe enough, absolutely I’d do it again. But even if I never get married again, I’d still be content and fulfilled with my life.
She concluded by thanking her readers for coming to my TED Talk.
